Never Trust Love
by Jessicavail
Summary: A girl named Jessica finds her self with a new group, after being alone for 2 years. Can she learn to trust after what shes been through, or will she just distance her self? Daryl Dixon & O/C
1. Remembering The Past

Chapter One: Remembering the past.

BANG BANG BANG. I hear the shots being fired off in the distance, not too far. I was rummaging through a little liquor store. Hearing the sounds of gun shots frightened me, knowing that walkers would be all over the place in a matter of minutes. I grabbed what I had managed to gather and put the items in my duffel bag. I would search through the contents later. There wasn't much here anymore, I had been here many times and it was starting to run low. I grabbed my duffel bag and ran out the store, holding my 12 gauged shot gun, ready to shoot one of them dead motherfuckers. I walked down the road of a little town, a small town outside of Atlanta. It was a nice looking town, or it was before the zombies over ran everything. The town was called Grayson. It had nice homes, not rich people homes, more like middle class people. There were 2 liquor stores, 3 grocery stores, a tiny strip mall with about 5 different clothing stores with one tinny mom and pop restaurant. There were a few other stores but not much. I passed the Arco gas station, and then turned left. The only way I knew how to get home was by landmarks. I've lived here for about 2 years, but who can really tell these days. I walked up to a blueish-gray house with white windows, though you couldn't see through them anyway, they were boarded up with lawn was way over due for a cut, and the white fence had been broken and torn apart from the horde of zombies from the last few months. I walked up to the white door and took the key out of my pocket. I unlocked the door and walked in, closing it behind me and locking it. I was greeted by the darkness and only little light shown through the boards. I walked over to a little brown desk and lit my candle, also the one a few feet away to give me more light. I sat down on the old sofa and put my duffel bag in front of me. I started to think again, I hated thinking. Remembering how this all started for me and how I wish I would have died with my family. I was about two years ago and I can still remember every little detail, every little smell.

"_**Jessica, get down here NOW!" I heard my mother yell as I ran down stairs to meet her in the kitchen of our small apartment. "What's going on?" I asked wondering why she was yelling and panicking. My mother never acted like this, she was always calm and composed. Something was wrong. "Honey.. I..I need you to go pack some stuff, not a lot only a little. Clothes, socks, shoes… necessary items.." "Mom? I…I don't" "JUST DO IT" she yelled. I looked at her, she was staring out the window, I turned and went towards my room, doing as I was told. I felt this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, something bad. I was in my room and grabbed a backpack, and a duffel bag. I grabbed clothes, not thinking that I was going to be gone for long, I packed stuff that wasn't very necessary. I packed t-shirts, some pants, a pair of shorts and a brush. I put socks, undies and shoes in my duffel bag. I also grabbed my lucky knife, the only thing I had to remember my best friend, and boyfriend. I never went anywhere without it. I walked out of my room to see my mother holding my baby brother Austin. The look on my mother's face was horrific, something was seriously wrong. "Jessica follow me and here take this" She handed me a shotgun. "Mom why the hell are you handing me this gun?" I asked her, worry now over taking me as my body began to shake. "Look I need you to take care of your brother if anything happens to me" She said with a serious look on her face. "Mom I'm only 18! I can't take care of a baby, and what do you mean if something happens to you!?" she didn't look at me only grabbed her backpack and opened the front door. I heard yelling down the way, I looked at my mother. She didn't look at me just kept walking holding my brother in one hand and a pistol in the other. I followed behind her unsure of what the hell was going on. We went down two flights of stairs and out an exit leading to the back of the apartments. "Run for the car and start it, the keys are in the visor" she said to me. I ran towards the black minivan, jumping into the driver's seat and starting the car. My mother ran towards the other side of the van when I heard screaming. I jumped out of the car running to find what was going on. I stood frozen, the metallic smell of blood drifting through the air. I looked at my mother, my brothers cries coming from the ground where he had fallen from my mother's arms. This guy, this thing was on my mother chewing on her like she was some sort of food. "MOM" I yelled "grab…your brother and run. Go to Atlanta.. I… love you.." I grabbed my brother, and as I turned around to get to the driver's seat another one of those.. things.. where in front of me. His arm missing, the smell of rotten flesh coming from his mouth. He lunged at me grabbing my arm, I screamed trying to get him to let go of my arm. In doing so he grabbed my brother, I looked in horror as he bit my brother's arm. My brother screamed the sound ringing in my ears. I got us free and ran towards the driver's side and grabbed my shotgun from the seat. I put my brother in the car and shut the door, not knowing what would become of him. I turned around and shot the gun at the zombie closes to me, throwing him to the ground. I ran over to where my mother was, she was standing there; blood dripping from her open wounds. She made this grunting sound and looked at me. Those where not my mother's eyes…it was something much worse. "Mom..? mom! Answer me!" I screamed at her. That's when I realized that she was no longer my mother, but one of those monsters that I had shot. Tears brimmed my eyes as I took the shot gun and pointed it at her. "I love…you" I whispered. BANG. She fell to the ground, the tears now over flowing. I then remembered my brother in the car. I ran over to the driver side and opened the door. Just as I feared.. he had become one of them.. A zombie. The blue eyes that I had known where now black. BANG. I was now numb, the pain of killing my 2 year old brother and my mother had not set in yet; the tears stopped. I grabbed my brother's lifeless body from the car and laid him on the ground. I got into the car, started it then remember what my mother had told me. "Go to Atlanta" I started the car and began to drive; leaving everything I knew and loved behind.**_

__I wanted to stop thinking. I opened my duffel bag and began looking at the items that I have gathered. Then I saw it, the beautiful candle light flickered off a bottle of Irish whiskey. I opened it and took a huge swig, feeling my stomach grow warm. I took the other contents out of my bag and laid them in front of me. A can of fruit, a box of crackers, a pack of Marlboro Red 72's, another bottle of alcohol, Gray Goose vodka, a lighter, and a can of tuna. I looked at the stuff I got; at least tonight I will have something in my stomach. I took another swig, my stomach growing increasingly warmer. I grabbed my knife of the desk next to me and looked at it, the candle light bouncing of the sharp silver edges. I picked up the can of tuna and used my knife to open it. I ate in silence, only hearing the groans and sounds coming from the walkers outside. I finished eating the tuna with some crackers, and then took another swig of my alcohol. I looked around my "home" and began to worry. I had no more food, the stores that I was raiding were becoming bare, and my house was no longer safe. I had no clean water, only the 1 gallon I had left. The wood on the windows began to come loose and my car was almost out of gas, I needed a new place. I took another swig, and decided that tomorrow I would gather what I could and leave to try and find a safer place. I put the cap back on my bottle, and put it on the desk. I stood up, grabbing my blanket from the chair next to me then blowing out the candles. I laid down on the couch, my shotgun right next to me if need be and drifted off into an unpleasant sleep.

I woke up just as the sun was starting to shine through the boards on the windows. I stretched and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. I grabbed my socks and boots from beside the couch and put them on. I looked around for a minute and then grabbed a cigarette and my red lighter and lit it. Taking the first inhale, I can hear the sound of the cigarette burning. As I finished smoking I started to pack. Grabbing all the things I owned and stuffed them into my duffel bag. I didn't own a lot, 3 shirts, 2 pants, a pair of boots, and 2 pairs of undies. Only one pair of sock, none of my clothes had been washed in a long time. I grabbed my bag and before I left I looked at the place that I had called home for the past two years. The dusty old torn up pink couch; the old fashion kitchen that I never used because of the lack of power; The bathroom that I had used to bathe when I had enough water; and the bedroom that I never slept in or touched. The thought of being in someone's bed, someone who use to own this house. Someone who had a family, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I grabbed my shotgun with my bag in the other hand and headed out of the house. I opened the door looking around before I went out completely. Nothing or no one in sight, I walked out and turned around to close the door, leaving the keys in the key hole. I walked over to my van, taking the keys out of my pocket. I started up the car, not knowing where I was going only knowing that I had to find a safer place to stay. I drove out of the town, seeing a few walkers as I drove past the sign that read "Now leaving Grayson". I felt a small ting of pain, knowing that I was leaving the place that I had called home for the past few years. I got onto the freeway, just driving until I felt the need to stop. The summer sun was warm; I rolled down my window to feel the cool breeze of the summer air. It was about 10am, and I started thinking again. This time I was thinking about why I'm alone, why did god put this burden on the world and leave me alone in it. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey out of my bag on the passenger seat and took a big swig. I wasn't old enough to drink, but who cares the world was ending anyway, might as well make myself feel better. I was on a highway when my van suddenly stopped and just peddled along. "Fuck" I said out loud. I didn't pay attention to how much gas I had, and ran out. I stopped my car and put it into park, stepping out of my car into the warm summer day. My green eyes blinded by the sun as I looked up into the sky, my red hair shinning in the sun. I looked around and decided to syphon gas out of the nearby cars. I took about 2 hours, but I got almost a half a tank of gas. I was putting the gas in my car when I heard someone behind me, I grabbed the pistol that was on my hip and turned around. There I was standing face to face with another person, guns pointing at each other. "I advise you to put your weapon down" a man said. "No fucking way" I spat back. I didn't trust anyone; no one could be trusted now days. He was a tall man, black hair, with blueish-gray eyes. He was also wearing a cop uniform. 'I bet he stole that off of some dead guy to gain peoples trust' I thought to myself about the uniform. "My name is Rick. Rick Grimes" The man said. "What's you name ma'am?" he asked. I looked at him not sure if I should tell him my name or not. "My names Jessica…Jessica Jean Thornton" I said. He lowered his gun and extended his hand to me. I backed away, not having human interaction for 2 years. "Im not going to hurt you" he said, noticing how I backed away from him. I put my gun down and shook his extended hand. "what are you-" he was cut off as a horde of zombies approached us from the side. He lifted his gun and shot one in the head. He grabbed my arm and pulled me away telling me to run. I started to run, turning around to shoot a walker. Rick was behind me , only by a few steps . It wasn't a large horde, only about 13 or so. I looked ahead and screamed as a walker slammed into me from the side and I fell to the ground. I hit my head on the concrete really hard, I felt the blood rushing to my head, I was dizzy instantly. My vision blurred as I was fighting the walker above me. As I thought that this was the end for me, I saw an arrow go through the walkers head. The walker then fell on me, as I used the last of my strength to push the zombie off of me I heard Rick say nice job. I looked up to see a man with dirty blond hair and crystal blue eyes next to me grabbing the arrow from the walkers head, I then fell into darkness as I passed out.


	2. New Surroundings

I heard voices as I started to wake up. I heard three male voices and one female voice. "We can't have her here! Are you crazy, we don't know who she is or who she knows? She can get us killed!" one man said. "Her name is Jessica. I don't think she can do us any harm, she's just a girl. And I don't think she's been around people for a while" I noticed that, that was Rick talking. "She don't look that much harm, and she also don't look like she's eaten much in days, poor thing." A woman said. "She Don' look like she do a damn thing' but ya' never know she could kill us in our' sleep" I heard another male say. He had a slight southern accent. I then faded off again, falling back to sleep. I woke up, this time sitting up. I looked around and noticed that I was in a tent on an air mattress. I raised my hand to my head, it was pounding. "Ouch" I said to my self as I winced in pain from touching my head. I then heard the zipper to the tent and looked over toward the opening. In came a woman with brown hair, and chocolate eyes. She was very skinny, but looks nice. "Well hello, finally awake I see." She said. I just looked at her, not knowing what to say or if I should say anything at all. I didn't know her, or these people. I needed to leave. "I brought you some water and some aspirin for your head." She said setting them on a little table next to the bed. I just looked at her and at the water. I took two of the pills and swallowed them down with some water. "Thanks.." I said, not wanting to say much. I haven't been around people in a while; I kind of forgot how to interact with anyone. I was so use to being alone, just me and my thoughts. "My names Lori, it's nice to meet you Jessica." She said with a smile on her face. She looked nice, but I couldn't trust her, I couldn't trust anyone but myself. I didn't say anything. "Well, I brought you some clean clothes, a towel, soap, and a brush. You can take a bath down at the river, but I have to go with you." She said, giving me a friendly look. "umm..sure I guess. I do need to get cleaned up" I said. I now had a plan, I would get cleaned up, eat what they offered then plan my escape. I would see how many people are here and then leave when they sleep. I had it all figured, I would run into the forest after I stole one of their guns. "Follow me then" Lori said as she walked out of the tent. I grabbed what she had given me and followed behind her. As I stepped out of the tent, the sun hit me blinding me for a moment. I opened my green eyes to look around. There were several tents, an RV, and 3 cars. I looked around a little more, I then saw Rick talking to some other guy with a shaved head. Over by where the fire usually is, between two tents, there sat an Asian man talking to an elderly guy. Over by a tree there were two kids talking, a boy and a girl. They looked young, maybe 10 or 11 years old. I followed Lori farther away from the tents and saw one tent that was separated from the others. There sat a man that was cleaning his bow. Then I remembered that man saved me, his dirty blond hair covering his eyes as he looked at his bow. He looked up for a moment, hearing us walk by. His crystal blue eyes met with mine and I looked away, and kept following Lori. We finally reached a little lake. "You can bathe here. I'll sit right over by the tree; just call me over when you're done." She said as she sat down by a tree. "Okay" I said walking away from her, and over by the lake. 'I could escape now' I thought to myself. 'But I don't have any weapons, or food. I would be helpless, I will need to wait and stick to my plan from earlier.' I striped from my dirt clothes, not remembering the last time that I had actually used shampoo. I looked around, feeling dangerously open. I walked into the water, the coolness sending shivers up my spine. I washed up quickly, and got out. I got dressed in what Lori had given me. It was a pair of black cargo pants, and a dark red tank top, a fresh pair of socks, and my worn out black boots. I took the brush and ran it through my wavy red/burgundy hair. It felt nice to be clean once again. I walked over to Lori and said "I'm done. Thanks.." It felt awkward to thank someone. "Are you hungry?" she asked me. I looked at her then heard my stomach growl. I'm sure she heard it to because she laughed and said "I guess you are, well were starting dinner soon. My husband Rick would like to talk to you, by the time you're done with that it should be time to eat." She said with a smile on her face. I followed her back to the campsite where she walked me to Rick, then left to go cook I'm assuming. "Hello Jessica" Rick said with a smile. I couldn't help but ask "Are you a real cop?" He looked at me for a moment the replied with a simple yes. "So I just wanted to ask you a few things so that we can get to know you." "sure" I said, thinking if I should lie to him or not. "Well first off, how old are you?" I looked at him for a moment, almost forgetting how old I am, I haven't thought about it in a while. "I'm um.. 20 now" I said with no emotion other than confusion. "Okay. Where you with your own group, or alone out there?" For a moment I thought that I should say with a group, but I couldn't find myself to lie, that wasn't who I was. "I was…alone." Before he could ask another question, I popped off with my own. "Where's my stuff? My gun, car, bag..?" I trailed off. Thinking about my knife, the one 'HE' had given me. "We have your shot gun, but we weren't able to grab your duffel bag, a horde of walkers were coming through." He said. My heart almost stopped my knife. That was the only thing that I was worried about. I'm not sure why I still held on to something so old, but it reminded me of him. "I need my things" I said with a needing look in my eyes. "You can go tomorrow; we will find someone to go with you. Today you need to rest and get some food in your stomach." He said. "I will ask you more questions later, it's my turn to take watch." And with that he left. I stood there by the fire pit. It was starting to get dark so I knew that I would have to do my plan another night. Tomorrow I would get my stuff and leave. I stood by the fire pit, when a guy came over. "hey." He said "I'm Shane" He didn't look at me while he talked "If you do anything stupid to hurt me or this group, I will..make you disappear." He said, now looking and me with dark eyes. I just looked away. He put some wood in the fire pit, and started it. The smell of gasoline filled my nose. Just like that the flames rose as he through a match in the pit. I stood there standing over the pit, looking into the fire. All I could think about was 'Him'. I felt the need to cry, but stopped myself from doing it. I couldn't show these people any signs of weakness; I didn't know them or what they were capable of. I needed to get away, I wanted to get away. Some people enjoyed being with people, making them feel safer. I felt safer alone, knowing that no one would hold me back. "Hello" I looked over to where the voice had come from, it was a little girl. "My names Sophia" she said. "Hello, I'm Jessica." The little girl was the one I saw earlier, the one next to the little boy. She had short dirty blond hair, and dark blue eyes. She was a small thing, skinny. "I brought you an apple" the little girl said holding a ripe red apple in her hand towards me. "thanks.." I said as I took the apple from her, as she walked away. I sat down on the dirt covered ground, being warmed by the fire. One by one everyone came and gathered around the fire with me, everyone except that one guy, the one who had saved me; the one with the beautiful eyes. I saw Sophia next to an older looking woman who I expected to be her mother. Lori was next to rick, who was her husband, with a young boy next to them. Next to Rick was that guy Shane, the one who had threatened me. I didn't like him and he didn't like me, I would need to stay far away from him. Next to him was a black man, followed by an elderly man next to me on my right side, and on my left an Asian guy, with a blond next to him. I was wondering where that other guy was, wondering what he could be doing at a time like this. "So let me introduce you to everyone" Rick said smiling at me. "Rick I don't think it's safe if she knows all our names" Shane said with darkness in his voice. "I'm sure it would be fine if she knew our names. What's the big deal?" the elderly man next to me said looking at Shane with a hit of annoyance in his tone. "It's fine" Rick continued. "I'm Rick next to me is my wife Lori; who u already met. This is our son Carl. To my left is Shane; next to him is T-dog." "Hey" he said not really looking at me. "Next to him is Dale" "hello honey" He said giving me a nice smile. "Then there is Glenn." "Hi" he said nicely." Next to him is Andrea" She didn't say anything. "Next is Sophia and her mother Carol" She just smiled at me. "Then there's Daryl, he should be back soon." I looked around the group. "Hello" I said quietly looking into the fire. I like that name Daryl. 'I should thank him for saving me later' I thought to myself. We all looked past the fire, hearing the sound of foot step. Then I saw him, Daryl. "Here" he said tossing the squirrels that he had caught to Rick. "Gutted an skinned dem'" he said. That accent gave me shivers; I couldn't look at him anymore. He didn't sit with the group, just leaned on a nearby tree. We cooked the squirrels and at them. The group chatted while I just sat quietly. "Jessica needs to go back to the highway to get her things that we couldn't grab the other day." He said as he finished eating. "She needs someone to go with her" He looked at me. "I'm fine I can go alone" I said looking at him. "No. No one goes alone anywhere." 'Damn 'I thought, hoping that I could just grab my stuff and leave. "Daryl you mind going with her?" He asked looking at Daryl. "Why n' the hell I needa' go for?" he asked. 'What's so wrong with going with me?' I thought to myself, wondering why I even cared. I didn't even know this man. "She needs someone who can watch her back, Shane and I have to go into town tomorrow, so we can't go." "Fine." He said with a hint of anger in his voice. "I'm goin' to bed" He said. He took a glance at me then looked away and walked towards his tent in the distance. "Then its settled, tomorrow you and Daryl will go grab your things." Rick said. "Lori, can you show Jessica where she will be sleeping tonight?" He was looking at his wife. I could tell they loved each other by the way they looked at each other. Love is stupid, never trust love. It only comes with pain. Lori nodded her head and walked over to me. "Follow me." She said with a smile and walked towards a tent a few feet away from us, the one that I had woken up in earlier. I stood up and began to turn when I heard "Goodnight" I didn't look back but said "goodnight" still walking towards Lori. She opened the tent and stepped in, I did the same. "You will be sleeping in here with Sophia and Carol, I hope you don't mind." Lori said giving me a grin as she motioned to the air mattress next to us. It had a black blanket and one pillow. "It's fine, thank you." I replied. "Goodnight, see you in the morning" She said as she left the tent. I sat on the bed, looking at me feet. My black boots were all worn out, I would need a new pair soon. I untied them and put them next to the bed. I went under the covers and turned to face the wall of the tent. I let out a sigh, and then yawned. I closed my eyes, then thought of the kids here with the group. I then started to think about my brother, he would be 4 now. I let a tear roll out, as I slowly started to drift off.


	3. The Failed Escape

I woke up to Lori gently nudging my arm. "Hey Jessica wake up, it's time for breakfast." I rolled over opening my eyes to see Lori standing over me. "Okay, just give me a minute." I replied. She walked out of the tent, as I sat up in the bed. I looked around and grabbed my socks and shoes, putting them on along with my sweater. I opened the tent and stepped out, the sun blinding me. I looked around and saw Carl, Sophia, and Lori sitting around the fire. I walked over to Rick, noticing that Daryl was standing next to him. He was tall, well taller than me. His hair all scuffed, his facial hair defining his face, his blue eyes.. I had to stop. "Hey." I said, mostly to Rick but I was looking at Daryl. "Hey. Good morning. You and Daryl will be leaving in about 20 minutes, so be ready." Rick said looking at me. "Do I get a weapon? My shotgun?" I asked "No, I'm sorry. Not trying to keep your stuff away from you, but we can't quite trust you yet." "WHAT? YOU bring me here, and take MY gun away from me?" I said not yelling but raising my voice. "I'm sorry but we don't feel safe with you walking around with a gun when we don't know you" he said. "Whatever." That my only reply as I walked away. Daryl then walked away, towards a truck. "you commin' or not? He asked. I didn't say anything, just walked towards the truck. It was a blue, old Chevy truck. I jumped into the passenger seat and shut the door. Daryl jumped into the driver's seat and started the truck. We were driving for about 10 minutes when he turned and looked at me. "you goina' put yur seat belt?" I looked at him confused. "No? Why would I?" "Just wondern'" he said looking at the road. I looked at him, memorized by how perfect his lips were. 'What the hell am I doing!' I thought to myself. I looked away and out the window, and then remembered I wanted to thank him. "Hey Daryl?" I asked, saying him name gave me shivers on my arms. "Yea?" he asked, surprised that I was asking him a question. "I just.. wanted to thank you for saving me." I said looking out the window. "Yeah, whatever" That was all he said. I was kind of hurt, that's all he had to say? About 10 minutes later I saw my van. "There it is!" I said pointing at the van a few cars away from us. He pulled over; I jumped out of the truck running over to my van, Daryl walked slowly behind me. I opened the van door, and saw my bag. I quickly opened it and grabbed my knife and hid it in my boot. By the time I had it hid Daryl was behind me, I could smell him. He smelled like cigars, whiskey, sweat, and oil, he smelled wonderful. I looked in my bag again and saw my cigarettes. "Yes!" I said out loud but lowly. I grabbed one and looked for my lighter but couldn't find one. "Here If ya' give me one, ill light yurs'" He said holding his lighter up. I handed him one and went for the lighter and he pulled away. "Hey! You said that if I gave you one I could use your lighter." I said angry. "I'll be lightn' it for yu, I aint ever let no woman touch my lighter" he said smirking. "Whatever" I replied. He lit my cigarette, and I took a long inhale, letting it flow from my mouth and nose. It felt so good to smoke one again. Then I remembered my plan, to escape. "Hey Daryl?" "Yea?" "I kind of gotta pee." I said smiling. "Well, go over by dat tree and squat." He said "I'll be right here watching." I ignored him, grabbed my ciggs and put them in my pocket. I didn't care about anything else that I had, only my knife. I walked over to the tree, and stood behind it. I heart was racing. I finished my cigg, and tossed it on the ground, stepping on it. I looked ahead of me and to the sides, it was all forest. "Hey Jessica, yu done doin yur business yet?" I heard Daryl, he wasn't that far from me. I took a deep breath, and then ran. I was running as fast as I could "HEY" I heard Daryl yell. 'Shit' I thought. I was dodging trees and running as fast as my feet could carry me. I heard his footsteps behind me. My heart was racing as I was starting to run out of breath. "ugh" the breath ran out of my lungs as I slammed against the ground. "Now why in the hell yu gon do that?" he said flipping me over and sitting on top of me, holding my arms down. "Get the fuck off of me Daryl" I said struggling. "why the fuck yu go off runnin like that? Yu tryin to get killed?" I was quite "No..just get off" He got off, and stood up.

I got up. "I just want to leave, to have my own place.. to be alone again." I trailed off, feeling embarrassed. "after I save your ass, yu go an try n' runn off? I don't get it. Dumb woman" he said stepping back. "Not like I care or nuttn, you wanna leave? Go on leave then." I looked at him for a moment, kind of sad that he didn't care if I left or not. "I just-"I was cut off as a walker came up behind me and grabbed my hair. Daryl pulled out his cross bow and hit the walker on the head, making him fall backwards, and then shooting him in the head with the bow. "fuckn' walker" he said spitting of the rotting corps in front of us. "Look I don't care if you stay or go, if ya wanna leave then do it now" he said as he started to walk away from me. "If I were you I would stick around, aint nuttn out there for u but a bunch of damned walkers." I stood in silence, not knowing whether I should follow him and take his advice, or leave on my own. I decided that I would stay; I didn't know where I was, or where the next town would be. It was almost 4 by now. I caught up to him and followed him to my van where I grabbed my stuff and then got into the truck we came here in. We sat in silence, neither of us saying anything. We got back to the campsite and I quickly got out of the truck. I grabbed my bag and walked over to the tent I was staying in; I stepped inside, and then zipped it up. I sat on the bed, taking the knife out of my boot. I stared at it for a moment, and then hid it under the mattress. I opened the duffel bag and found the bottle of Irish whiskey that I hadn't finished. There was about a half of bottle left. I hadn't eaten anything all day; I skipped breakfast because I was eager to get my stuff. I took a huge swig, loving the feeling that it was giving me, going down my throat. I took a few more swigs, and then decided to join everyone outside. I stepped out of the tent, seeing the fire being started. It was about 5 or 6 pm. I looked around, not noticing Daryl anywhere. God I couldn't get him out of my mind, he's always the first one I look for when I come out of my tent. I walked over to the tree by the fire pit and took another swig, I was becoming buzzed already. My hand went to my pocket looking for my cigarettes, that's when I noticed. "That bastard took my smokes" I said to myself. I walked over to Dale; he was sitting by the RV. "Hey where's Daryl at?" I asked him. "He's over at his tent, that way." He said pointing towards the edge of our campsite. I walked towards in holding my bottle of whiskey in one hand. I was a bit liquored up, thinking in my head what I was going to say to him. I started to see his tent, when I said "Daryl! Where the hell is you" I got to the front of his tent, he wasn't outside, so he must have been inside. It was starting to become dark out, but I didn't care. I walked over to his tent and opened it, closing it when I got inside. He was sleeping on his bed, no shirt on. I stood there for a moment staring at his perfect body. "Are you just goina stand there, or say sumtin'" He moved his arm from over his eyes to look at me. "I.. You took my cigarettes!" I said. "Yea, so?" "Well give them back!" He sat up in bed and grinned at me. "I was wonderin' how long it would take ya to notice. Here" he said tossing the pack to me. He looked at me, then noticing I had the whiskey in my hand. "Thanks." I said, turning around to leave the tent. Before I could reach the zipper he grabbed my arm. "Hey now, why don't you share that drink of yours with me, ya know for savin your ass an all." The feeling of him touching me was strange, in a good way. "Fine, Here" I said thinking that all he wanted was the alcohol, then for me to leave. "Why don't you sit down, and play a little game of 'if'?" "What's 'if'?" I asked him. He sat down on his bed and looked at me. "Well you goin to sit down or what?" I blushed, noticing that I had to sit on the bed with him. I sat down on the bed across from him, then asking again. "What's 'If'?" "Well 'If' is a game where you say something and if you have done it, you take a drink." He said with a smirk on his face. Already a bit buzzed I wasn't going to back out, no matter how nervous I was. "Alright then little lady, since you've never played I'll go first." He took the bottle cap of the whisky and handed it to me, then pulled a bottle of Jack Daniels from his bag and opened it for himself. "Ok. Take a drink if you have ever killed a walker." I looked at him, then said "You know I have" "then take a drink, damn woman I already told you how to play." We both took a swig. "Good now your turn." "Okay, um. Take a drink if you have ever owned an animal." I said "that a dumb question, but whatever." We both took another swig. "Let's have a little fun, take a drink if you ever touched yourself." He said with a smile on him face, his crystal blue eyes looking at me. "What no that's personal!" I said objecting. "Come on now don't be so stuck up." I took a swig, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. "Well, well, we got a dirty girl." "Shut up. Take a drink if you've ever watched porn." I said He took a drink, but I didn't. "What no way you've never watched porn?" "Nope" I said with a smile. We did a few other stupid, random questions. Not long later we were both drunk. "Okay, take a drink if you've ever had sex in a car" he took a swig, but I didn't. "What, damn girl your no fun." He said slurring his words a bit. "Well I've only had sex once." Letting it slip out before I could think about what I was saying. He looked at me, taking another swig then putting him bottle down. "Oh really, well we should change that." He said leaning in as he said it. I could feel his breath on my skin as he spoke, sending shivers down my spine. I blushed as he ran his hand over mine and up my arm. I pulled back, and then he came in closer. He whispered in my ear, feeling his breath on my next sent shivers down my spine. "ya know you got really perrty eyes." "Thanks." I said my voice cracking, not really knowing what else to say. He was real close to me, his hand on my shoulder. He gently pushed me backwards, laying me down with him on top of me. "We shouldn't.. your drunk.." I said. "So? Its not like it will mean sumtin, just fun." He said. I looked into his eyes, and could tell that he meant it. I felt a pain in my chest after what he said. Before I could say anything his lips were on mine, my heart jumped. I looked up at him, his eyes were closed and he kissed me. I closed my eyes, letting the alcohol and hormones in my body take control as I kissed him back. The feeling was unreal, something I thought I would never feel again. My arms slowly went up to rap against him next as we kissed. He pressed his hips against mine; I could feel his bulge against me. I let out a gasp as his lips traveled to my neck, kissing gently. "Say my name" He said in a husky, deep voice. "W-what?" I said, full well knowing what he said. He pressed harder against me, biting my neck he said it again. "Say my name" "D-Daryl." I said with a slight moan to it as he moved one of his hands from my hand to my belly, slowly climbing under my shirt to my breast. He slipped under my bra and grabbed them with a force to it, but gentle not to hurt me. I moaned his name again. He then crept his hand down towards my pants button; I put my hand on him whispering "No". "Come on" He replied in a wanting tone. 'It's only for fun' the words he said ran through my mind. "No- I have to go.." I said pushing him off of me. I stood up off the bed and pulled down my shirt. I looked back at him, and then left the tent. I ran towards my tent, thoughts running through my head; pain in my chest. I opened the tent and stepped in, closing it behind me. I saw Sophia and Carol sleeping and quietly slipped off my shoes and into bed. I laid there, heart pounding. 'It's not like it will mean anything, it's only for fun.' His voice and words replaying in my head, over and over. 'I can't like him' I said to myself. 'I can't..' and with that I fell asleep.


	4. MINE'

The next morning I didn't was to get of bed; I wanted to just lay here forever. My head ran with the thoughts of what happened last night with Daryl, I quickly pushed those thoughts away. I sat up in bed, looking around the empty tent. Carols and Sophia's bed was made, that's when I noticed a pile of clothes on the side of my bed with a note.

'Jessica, I got these clothes for you I hope they fit. –Carol'

I would have to thank her later, but decided to go bathe first. I looked at the clothes, it was black sorts; kind of too short for my likening, with a dark red tank top. I grabbed the clothes and exited the tent. I looked around outside, there was no one around. 'That's kind of weird' I thought, thinking nothing of it as I walked to where the lake was. When I got there I stripped down, looking at the beautiful inviting water before me. I left on my underwear and bra, to wash them in the water while I was there. I walked into the water, dipping my head under to refresh myself. When I was done washing myself I walked towards land when I heard something from the bushes. I walked backwards, deeper into the water. I watched being as quiet as I could be. Out from behind I saw a tall white man, black hair with brown eyes. My heart stopped as I saw him scanning over my stuff. "Hey you! Sweet cheeks, out of the water." He said looking at me. "Why should I?" "because." He said pointing a gun at me. "I have a gun." I slowly walked out of the water, covering my soaking wet bra with my arms. "Well hell, you're sexy." I looked away, not wanting to see his beating eyes stair at my soaking wet skin. I felt goose bumps crawl over my skin as he touched my arm. He then grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him. I pulled away, pushing him in the process. "Dumb bitch you should have done that." He said as I ran as fast as I could towards the camp site. When I was in the camp site, I saw Daryl. I went to scream his name when I felt the butt of the gun hit the back of my head, knocking me out and sending me to the ground. I opened my eyes and noticed I couldn't move my arms, they were tied behind me. I then heard the man's voice talking to someone. "Damn fucking bitch ran. She got some guys attention now he's tracking us. It's only a matter of time until he finds us." I looked around I was in some kind of shed; I looked to the left and saw a rotting corps with a gun wound in her head. It was a child, couldn't have been more than 7 years old. I couldn't look. To my right I saw a table with ammo on it, but no guns. I looked down and noticed I was still basically naked. I wanted to cry, the feeling of giving up overtook my body. The man then entered the room, the one who had taken me. "So your awake, thanks to you that man is looking for us. You're going pay for running away from me." He said with this horrible look in his eyes. He walked towards me picking me up from the ground and slamming me over the table that was to my right. I cringed in pain as he pressed his body against mine. "If he's going find us, I might as well have some fun with you before he gets here." Tears started to fill my eyes as his hand reached around me grabbing my neck. "Don't yell." He said in a dark voice. The tears fell as he moved his hand to my chest, grabbing my breast; hurting me. He then moved his had to my undies, pulling them down to where they fell around my ankles. When he did that I jerked backwards out of instinct, he didn't like that. He grabbed something out of his pocket, I heard the sound of a pocket knife opening and my heart started to race. I yelled as his knife slit the side of my back, I could feel my blood pour out of the wound. "I said to not fucking yell!" he said as the knife slit my inner thigh. I didn't yell this time; instead I let the tears flow quietly. I wanted to die, I wanted him to slit my thought and get it over with. He then undid his pants and let them fall as he entered me from behind. I let out a gasp, as the pain shot through me. I've only had sex one other time, and this time I didn't even want it. I could feel his hands pressing against my back, into the table; it was getting hard to breath. He grabbed my hair pulling my head back then slamming my head against the table; I felt my teeth enter my lip, as I tasted the blood run from my lips. I started to thrust faster, my body went numb. He turned me over so I was facing him; the he punched me in the stomach, throwing me to the floor. I hit the floor with a thud, pain shooting through my side. He walked over to me, grabbing me by the hair and pulled me up to my knees. "Suck" he said I looked up at him with tears, realizing what he wanted me to do. "No" I said before I thought of the consequences. He slapped me across the face, still holding my hair I could feel the burning sensation on the side of my face. I did what he told me and put my lips around the head of his penis in front of me. He put both hands on my head and started to thrust in my mouth, I couldn't breathe. My head started to become dizzy, and my vision blurry. Before I was able to pass out, he stopped and pulled me up, again slamming me on the table so he was behind me. He entered me again, this time his hands were around my neck as he choked me. I could feel my lungs fight for air, everything started to go black. I went limp as I could feel my life leaving my body; right before everything went black he finished inside me. I felt him pull out as my body fell to the ground. I saw him look at me with his disgusting eyes. He bent down towards me and took his knife out once again; he spread my legs then engraved 'MINE' on my inner thigh. I wanted to let out a scream, but I couldn't. I lay there, tears still flowing as I watched him fix himself and leave me there. I slowly started to fade as my eyes became heavy; I used the last of my energy to curl up in the fetal position. Before everything went back, I saw Daryl. I thought it was a dream, I whispered "Daryl?" before everything completely went black.


	5. Im Sorry

I opened my eyes, looking around I saw Daryl standing in the corner of my tent, his head down. "Daryl?" I said, more to myself then him. Thinking this was a dream, I was dead. "Jessica?" he walked to the entrance of the tent and yelled for Lori. Lori came walking in and over to me, Daryl then left. "Hey, good morning. How are you feeling?" I looked at her then got the flash back of what happened. I felt the tears starting to come up, and I couldn't stop them. "Oh honey.." She said rubbing my arm. "I-I just want to be alone" I said, trying to turn away from her; but the pain shooting throughout my body stopped me from doing so. "Ugh" I said in pain. "Here I brought you two pills, take them with the water." She said putting them beside the bed, and leaving the tent. After I took the pills, I laid there. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. I wondered how I even got back to the camp. I towards the door of the tent hearing people talk outside. "She can't be left alone; she needs someone to stay with her at all times. We now know that there are two enemies out there, walkers and other people." "I'll stay with her, I have watch tonight anyway." I noticed the voices to be Rick and Daryl. I started to feel numb from the pills I had taken. I finally decided to sit up, as I did I groaned out in pain.

Rick came in upon hearing me. "Hey, you think you're okay to talk to me, tell me what happened?" He said kneeling in front of me. I saw Daryl looking in from the outside. Rick placed him hand on my knee in a comforting way, but I jerked away. "I'm sorry." I said my voice cracking. "It's okay when you're ready, let me know. We will find him, and he will own up to what he did." I felt tears trying to come up again, but I held them back in front of them. I didn't want them to see me cry. "Is there anything I can do for you?" Rick asked. "No." I was lying, I wanted food. Even though I knew I could trust him, my body didn't want any guys around, all except for one. "I'm just going to sleep." "Okay then, Daryl will be right outside your tent if you need anything." He said as he got up and walked out of the tent, looking at Daryl before he left. "I know you're hungry." I looked at him, confused. "I heard your stomach." I looked away, feeling embarrassed. "Can I ask you a question?" "Sure." He said as he sat on the bed across from me. "How, who found me? I remember seeing your face, and then everything went black." He was quiet just looking at me with his blue eyes. I looked away, I felt disgusting. I felt like he shouldn't even want to talk to me, I was tainted, trash. I felt the tears start to come up again, but held them back. "Well, I saw him knock you out. I ran as fast as I could. I grabbed Rick, and we followed you tacks for an hour." He trailed off looking at the ground. "Then we found you." I couldn't stop the tears now, they flowed freely. I turned away from him not wanting him to see me cry. Before I knew it his hands were around me, hugging me.

We hadn't had any physical contact, more less a conversation since that night. "Leave, I don't want you here anymore, I'm- I'm disgusting" I said pushing him away from me. "Damn it woman, can't you just shut up." He said pressing his lips against mine. "I can't Daryl, I just can't" I said moving away from him. "Fine, whatever" He said storming out of the tent. Tears ran down my face, as I lay back on my bed. The images of what that man did to me, then the images of my first time with him. I fell asleep from the pill, and when I awoke all I could think of was Daryl. I got up, pain coming from every inch of my body. I slowly walked to the entrance of the door and opened it. The sun hit me hard, burring my eyes as the sun hit them. I looked around, stepping out into the warm summer day; it felt good on my skin. I saw Rick with Lori and their son Carl around the fire. They were cooking food; I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I smelled the food. Lori saw me and quickly got up, coming over to me. "Hey are you okay?" She asked holding my arm, helping me walk. "Yeah I'm fine I just needed some air." "Are you hungry?" "Yeah. Kind of." I said "Come sit with us then sweetie." She said with a smile, leading me over to where she was sitting. I sat in a chair, wincing in pain as my side came in contact with the chair. She handed me a paper plate with some cooked squirrel and some crackers. I ate, talking with them about what they have been doing for the last couple of days. They had found a house not too far away from here; it looked safe and had enough rooms for all of us. Rick, Shane and Glenn were going to go check it out tomorrow morning.

I finished eating then decided to go apologize to Daryl, he saved me and more than once. I looked over to Lori then asked her if she knew where Daryl was. "Yeah he's over by the RV keeping watch." "Thanks." I slowly stood up, ignoring the pain. "I'll see you guys at dinner." I said as I walked toward the RV. I finally reached it and saw that Daryl was walking out of the forest carrying some squirrels. I walked towards him, my heart racing as I came closer to him. When I caught up to him, I walked beside him. "Hey I need to talk to you." I said looking at my feet as we walked. "I don't wana talk to you, you aint nuttn but a pain in my ass." I was taken back; he had never spoken to me like this before. "Please Daryl, I just want to apologize." I said. We had reached his tent; he wasn't saying anything as he hung up the squirrels. "Why should I listn' to you? So you can push me away again?" He entered his tent and I walked in right behind him, I wasn't going to give up. "Fucking stop please, I had been through enough. Can't you just listen to me please?" "Fine. Get on with it then woman." He said as he sat down on his bed. I stood there not knowing what to say first. "Well you goina say sumtin or not?" He said as he started to clean his crossbow. "I'm sorry for pulling away earlier, I- I didn't want to but my body, I just couldn't." I said looking down. "Is that all? You done yet?" He said looking up at me. "Yeah, fine." I said hurt, I started to walk away when he was suddenly behind me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and hugged me, I felt so safe. "Daryl. I-" I couldn't finnish as he turned me around to kiss me. It was a passionate kiss, soft and sweet. "I don't know why, but ive got dis feelin for you, Ive never felt this way before. That's why I got mad at you." "Im sorry." I said as we continued kissing. "Can I stay with you tonight? You can say no i-" "yeah, I'll feel safer with you around me anyway. Ill protects you." I looked into his eyes, seeing another side of him, one I have never seen before. I felt the tears start to come, but these ones were happy. I then started to think about my feelings for him; I really liked him, maybe even love. I couldn't though; love made you weak, feelings made you weak. I didn't pull away though, I was happy in his arms with his lips on mine, I wanted this to last forever.


	6. Scars

I sat down on his bed, him sitting next to me. He continued to kiss me as I kissed back, the feeling was incredible. The feelings of his soft lips against my slightly chapped ones. He moved his hand to my waist then to the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. I winced in pain as his hand went over the cut on my side. He pulled back looking worried.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"It's the cuts-they still hurt a lot." I told him, looking down for a second.

"What cuts?" He looked at me with a look of anger and worry.

"I uh-I'll show you." I said, lifting my shirt and pulling it over my head. I put it on the bed next to me. I looked down, my black bra was getting old I needed a new one.

He looked at the cuts on my waist, and then saw the bruises around my hips. "Pull down your pants, did he do anything else?"

"He..." I was holding back the tears as I saw what had happened in my head. The events that had made my life a living hell. "He raped me and beat me, then left me to die..." I said as the tears started to come freely, the images of the man burned in my head.

"I wanna see your legs." He said with darkness in his voice, the sound of hate.

I stood up and gently pulled down my pants, not feeling embarrassed in front of him, I knew he wouldn't do anything. He looked at my legs seeing the cuts and bruises; he then saw something that made him go over the edge. 'MINE' was carved into my skin on my inner thigh. He gently ran his fingers across it, as I flinched.

"He goina fuckn pay for what he did. No man should ever do that to a woman." He was really angry.

I pulled up my pants as I started to cry more, I never want to cry, but this was too much. "I-I should leave, I'm disgusting..." I said as I reached for my shirt.

"Fuck no, you aint goin nowhere without me." He pulled me down to where I was sitting on his lap, my back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around my waist then said "You aint disgusting either." He laid me on his bed, the smell of him on his blankets. He had a plain black blanket, with gray sheets. His bed was unmade, and the pillows were sprawled apart. We laid facing each other, his crystal blue eyes staring into mine as my eyes traveled over his features. His hair was dirty, greasy, but I didn't look bad. No he looked good dirty, almost irresistible.

"Do you have any alcohol?" I asked, needing the liquid to make me smile.

"Yeah I got some." He said as he reached next to the bed where there was a small duffel bag, and pulled out a bottle of cheap vodka, and he handed it to me.

I sat up and took a swig, the burning feeling making me feel alive. As it hit my stomach I shivered in delight. "You want some?" I asked handing him the bottle. He took it and took a swig, a bigger one than mine.

After drinking for a while I started to talk about my past, telling him everything. "I had to kill my mom and my brother; it was the worst thing I have ever had to do. I don't understand why I had to go through all this, why my life has to be so horrible. Even before the break out, it was horrible."

"How so?" He said, listening.

"Well, I had a boyfriend. The only one I've ever had, his name was Jack. I was with him for 5 months, he took my virginity." I looked down; I didn't want to see the look on his face. "I thought I loved him, and I thought he loved me. He had been cheating on me the whole time; also sending photos I had sent to him that were, well private to his friends. I kept the knife he gave me to remind me to never trust love, because it's not real."

"What's wrong with guys these days don't they know how to treat a damn woman?" Daryl said sitting back taking another swig of the vodka. "By the way, when's your birthday?"

I looked at him then said "July 29th."

"That's coming up soon, we should celebrate." He said winking at me, I blushed.

I grabbed the bottle of vodka and took a swig. I felt better than I had in days, safer too. He was looking at me, a look of want and need. "Kiss me" I suddenly said. He looked shocked for a moment. Then his lips gently touched mine, my eyes closing. "Daryl, do you care about me?" I said stopping the kiss.

"Yeah, more than I have ever cared about anyone. You're mine now, aint no one goina take you from me. I'll protect you from everything, and everyone."

His lips pressed on mine once again, this time I let myself go. I kissed him with force, as he returned it. I lay on my back as he climbed on top of me; his hands were holding mine above my head. He moved his lips to my neck, gently kissing and sucking. I moaned out, letting him know I was loving the way he made my body feel. He then moved his hands to my shirt, lifting it above my head. I lay below him as he stared at my body.

"You're beautiful." He whispered, almost to himself.

He ran his hand over my body down to where my shorts met my hips; slowly he put one finger in between the fabric and my skin, slowly slid his finger around, teasing me. I put my hands in his hair and pulled him to me, kissing him again. I lowered my hands, playing with the button to his pants.

"Don't tease me." He growled as I then unbuttoned them.

I then raised my hand to his shirt, pulling it off his body and throwing it to the side of the bed. We were kissing violently as his hands traveled my body, exploring every inch that he could reach. He growled as I bit his neck, and then kissed it. He couldn't take it anymore; he sat back and pulled of my black shorts, leaving my underwear on. I wrapped my legs around his hips, pressing me against him, feeling his bulge press against me. I flipped him over and pulled off his pants, making sure to leave his boxers on. I climbed slowly back on top of him, kissing from his waist band up to his lips, and then reaching his lips; kissing him. He wrapped his hands behind me, unclipping my bra as he tossed it to the side. He began kissing my breast, sucking gently on my nipple, making me moan in pleasure. I slowly went down, pulling his boxers down with me. I went back up looking at his penis and I gently wrapped my hand around it. I kissed the tip as I slowly let it enter my mouth. His head went back in pleasure and I began to go faster. He grabbed my hair bringing me back up to him.

"Now." He growled. He flipped me over so he was on top, and pulled down my underwear, flinging them across the tent. He put the head of his penis at my entrance teasing me as he slightly put it in then pulled it out.

"Please, I need you." I whispered, my eyes closed. He then pushed it in, making me gasp in pleasure. He thrusted in and out of me, making me gasp in pure ecstasy.

"Say my name" He said. I didn't say anything so he stopped.

"No don't stop."

"Then say my name." He repeated.

"Daryl." I moaned as he thrusted deep inside of me. He grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him and he kept going. "Oh Daryl, I-I think ima **." I said moaning between words. He kept going; I wrapped my arms around his neck, as I felt him shudder. He fell next to me, pulling me close to his body.

"Stay with me." He said, his eyes were closed and I could tell he was going to fall asleep.

"As long as you want me." I replied as we both slowly drifted to sleep, not knowing that a nightmare would enter my dreams, showing me all my fears and worries.


	7. I Dont Need You

I was running through the forest, I had cuts on my arms and legs. I didn't know where I was going and why, only knowing to run. The sky was black, and the trees looked dead. I came to a clearing where my camp was, everyone was slaughtered, blood everywhere. I looked in horror as I saw Lori and Carl on the ground with Lori's hand holding Carl's. I ran past them and saw dale with a knife through his skull up against the RV, Glenn next to him. I wanted to scream and opened my mouth to do so, but nothing came out. I needed to find Daryl. I ran towards Daryl's tent, but it felt like I was getting farther away. Every step I took my feet got heaver, making me move slower. It felt like I was in quick sand then the tears started falling. My heart was pounding; I could hear it in my ears. I saw Daryl's tent with blood on it, my heart stopped. I finally reached the tent but before I could get to close, I saw Daryl standing there.

"Daryl?" I asked as I started to walk towards him, afraid.

He didn't say anything as I grew closer to him. When I was close enough to almost touch him, he fell to his knees as I noticed the blood on his body. I then noticed the man behind him, the same guy who had done those horrible things to me. I couldn't move, all I saw was that man with the evil smile on his face. He pushed Daryl to the ground, pulling the knife out of his back and licking the blood off of it.

"Hey there, I found you sweet cheeks." He said as he took a few steps towards me. I turned around as fast as my body would let me and started to run, all I heard was my heart ringing in my ears. The tears were flowing down my face as I saw the image of Daryl in my head. The tears were making it hard to see as I ran form the evil man behind me. I then hit the ground, as I felt pressure press on my back. I let out a gasp, feeling my lungs being crushed. I was then flipped over as he sat on top of me. The smile was plastered on his face, as he held the knife above me. I let out a scream as the knife entered my chest as he said "Mine"

I woke up breathing hard and looking around to find out where I was. I saw Daryl sleeping next to me, he looked so peaceful. I calmed down, knowing I was okay and safe. I looked down seeing that I was still naked. I blushed as I remembered last night, and then smiled. I laid back down, pulling the covers over my body, turning to lie on my side. As I turned Daryl turned with me; putting his arm over my body, pulling me closer to him. His smell filled my nose, the smell of oil, alcohol, and sweat. With him holding me I knew I was safe, and I didn't want to be anywhere else. I fell back to sleep with his arm around me, hoping that another nightmare wouldn't invade my dreams.

"Jess, wake up." I heard as I groaned, pulling the blankets over my head. I didn't want to get up; it felt like I had just fallen asleep.

"Damn it woman get up." He said as he pulled the covers off of me.

I opened my eyes to see Daryl; he only had his pants on no shirt. I blushed as I noticed his perfectly sculptured body. He didn't have too much muscles, just enough.

"I gotta go huntin, I'll be back later before its dark." He said as he picked up his shirt from the floor, putting it on. Its sleeves were ripped off, showing his arms.

"Okay." I said.

I didn't expect it but he leaned down and kissed me, a soft kiss; a kiss saying that he will be okay. I kissed back then watched as he walked out, leaving me to get dressed.

After I had gotten dressed and put my shoes on, I decided to go out and help out around the camp. I left the tent walking towards Lori, Carl, Sophia and Carol; they were sitting were the fire pit is. "Hello" I said with a friendly smile. "Is there anything I can do to help out around the camp, I feel kind of  
bad. I haven't done anything around here to carry my own weight."

"Yeah, were going down to the lake in a bit to do some laundry, you can help us. You need to eat first so come sit down." Lori said with a smile, gesturing me to sit next to her.

I sat down and ate a few apples and crackers, watching as Carol was teaching the kids some stuff. After we were done eating the kids ran off to play, knowing to stay close and were Dale could see them, as me and the other women went to the lake.

We sat at the lake talking and washing clothes.

"So what do you miss the most?" Carol asked Lori.

"I miss my ice cream." She said with a sigh. "What about you Jessica?"

"I miss taking a nice long warm bath. And you Carol?" I asked as I finished a shirt then hanging it on the clothes line we had next to us.

"I miss my T.V" She said as she started to laugh.

We talked for a while longer; it was nice to have girl time. We talked about how our lives were before all this, what we missed most, and what we didn't miss.

"So do you think that the house they found will actually work out?" Carol asked, to both of us.

"I'm not sure, I hope so." I replied as I was looking at the last shirt I had to wash.

"I think it will work out good, we need a stable home." Lori said hanging up a black, hole covered shirt. Once we finished we grabbed the clothes that were clean and began to walk back to camp.

When we got back to camp Rick and the other men in the camp were standing around each other talking, almost fighting. Lori ran over there saying something that I couldn't hear. I put my basket of clothes down and wondered if I should go over there, and decided that I should. I walked over to the group as I heard Shane start to shout.

"It's not safe; do you want to put us all in danger again? Do you want to kill us all?"

"It is safe, and it's going to be winter in another month, we can't stay here!" Rick said as he started to become angry, but held his composure.

"I think we should go and check it out, see if it's safe." I pitched in. Everyone looked at me for a second the Lori agreed with me.

"It's a good idea, let's send some people and see if it's infested with walkers first."

I looked at rick then looked over to my left when I felt someone touch my back, it was Daryl. He gave me a small smile, while his hand laid on my lower back. I slightly blushed as I remembered how if felt when his body was pressed up against mine.

"Okay then Daryl and Andrea will go check out the house." Rick said.

I looked at Daryl; I could feel the jealousy build up inside me, but I didn't let it show.

"Sure, I don't mind." Andrea said.

"Okay then its settled, you guys will leave in the morning." Rick said as he walked toward Lori, putting his arm around her waist. Daryl removed his hand making the jealousy build up even more. I walked away going to a tree and lit a cigarette. I was trying to push away the feeling that I was having, I didn't like them. I didn't even want to get close to him, you can't trust love. It either makes you weak or you get hurt.

"Why you go an take off like that for?" Daryl asked me, standing in front of me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said not looking at him, but looking at the ground beneath our feet.

"Whatever" He said and walked away.

He wasn't much for emotions, or showing that he cared. I stood there and decided that I didn't care, I shouldn't care. Yeah I had feelings for him and he has some for me, but I didn't want to become weak. Something could happen any second or any day and I would be separated from everyone, then I would be weak. 'No more feelings.' I thought to myself as I put on a fake smile and walked back towards the group. I sat by the fire that was being made by Glenn, and decided to make small talk.

"So what's for dinner?" I asked with a smile.

"Not sure, I think Carol is cooking."

"Can I ask you something and you not tell anyone?" I asked looking at him while he made the fire.

"Sure?" He said not sure if he should or not. I knew he wasn't good at keeping secrets, but that's what I wanted.

"Do you have any alcohol? Or know where some is?"

"Um well, there's some in the RV."

"Thanks bud" I said with a smile and walked towards the RV.

When I reached the RV, no one was in site. I walked into the RV and looked in the shelf above the sink; I found it. I grabbed the half bottle of vodka and walked out of the RV after putting it in my pocket, and pulling my shirt down to cover it. I walked towards the river and sat down, the sun was setting; it gently reflected off the water. The trees covered the area, making it feel as though there was nowhere to run, like a wall. I opened the bottle of vodka and took a swig, feeling it burn my tongue as it filled my mouth. I looked at the water, the color reminding me of Daryl's eyes. I pushed the thought out of my head as I tried not to think about him, taking another swig. After a few more swigs I began to feel the effects. I was giggling to myself at the thought of a walker falling in the water. Do they swim? The sun had set and it was dark. I decided that I should head back. I started towards the camp when something came up behind me and grabbed my arm, fear ran through me as I went to scream but a hand covered my mouth.

"Jessica stop, it's me!" the voice said, it was Daryl.

I looked at him then giggled. "You scared me don't do that!" I said but my words were slurred.

"Where the fuck have you been, you just up and leave not telling anyone? Glenn told me you asked for alcohol, and then you disappeared!" He was angry.

"Oh stop, I'm fine!"

"Yeah until a fucking walker grabs you!" He was holding me by my shoulders.

"Whatever, I can take care of myself I don't need your help and I don't need you to look after me like I'm a fucking child." I said, looking away from him.

"Fine, take care of yourself then." He said as he let go of me and walked off.

'I don't need him; I'm fine just by myself.' I thought to myself as I walked back towards camp.

I got back to the camp then realized I had nowhere to sleep, Sophia and Carol had their own tent, and I knew that Daryl wouldn't want me in his tent. I walked over to the fire and saw Glenn sitting by himself. I sat down next to him, the flames jumping off his face. Everyone else must have gone to sleep.

"Hey." I said looking at the fire.

"Hi" was all he said.

We sat in silence for a minute, just enjoying the warmth of the fire.

"So do you have an extra blanket I could use?"

"Don't you sleep in Daryl's tent? He has blankets." He said looking at me.

"I'm not staying in there, we got into a fight and well I need to be on my own."

"Why don't you just sleep in the RV with me and Dale? Just for tonight until you figure out what you want to do. You can't just sleep outside alone." He said.

I felt worthless, I didn't have my own stuff; and I couldn't even sleep in my own tent.

"Okay, if you don't mind." I said feeling sorry for myself.

"It's no problem." He said giving me a warm smile. "Have you eaten dinner yet?"

"No I've been kind of, well busy, but I'm not hungry." I was lying, I was hungry but I didn't want to eat.

"Come on then, let's go get some sleep."

We walked to the RV that was across the way. He opened the door for me and let me in, sitting at the table I handed him the bottle of vodka. He put it away then went to the back; I heard him shuffling with something then came back with a pillow and blanket and handed them to me.

"Thanks." I said sheepishly.

"No problem, you can sleep on the couch." He said gesturing toward the old brownish couch.

I walked over to it and set my pillow down and spread out my blanket. I sat down then looked at Glenn. "Thanks again, goodnight."

"Good night Jessica." He said as he walked towards the back of the RV again, I heard the springs of the bed groan as he laid down on them.

I looked at the white-yellow celling above me noticing the stains here and there. The RV was a nice sized one, not too old either. The couch was a brownish color and the chairs matched, it looked like it needed to have a good bath though. I turned on my side facing the door, trying to turn off my brain and get some sleep. I couldn't, all I could think about was Daryl and the one good night sleep I had, regardless of the nightmare. He was next to me holding me, making me feel safer than I have for years.

'I need to apologize' I thought to myself. I had messed up; I got jealous and didn't think about my actions and the alcohol didn't help.

I decided that I would say sorry tomorrow, and let my eyes flutter shut as I slowly drifted off to sleep.


End file.
